Disclaimer
The insights and suggestions provided here are based on personal experience as a parkour practitioner with over 20 years of training, 12 years of coaching, and 5 years of ontological and philosophical education. I am not a therapist, a medical expert, or a sports psychologist. Always consult with professionals in those fields for specific guidance or expertise.
Parkour coaching isn't just about teaching precise movements and techniques; it encapsulates an entire philosophy that hinges on effective communication and understanding. Coaches in this discipline carry not just a manual of moves but a diverse toolkit of communication methods tailored for every unique interaction.
This communication isn't mere instruction. It is an art and understanding that is as refined and precise as a surgeon's scalpel. When wielded adeptly, it does more than convey instructions; it connects students and coaches, bridges emotional gaps, and fosters an environment of trust. As we delve deeper into the student's psyche, we touch upon their motivations, dreams, insecurities, and fears, forging a bond that extends beyond the physicality of parkour.
Mastering parkour coaching is a journey in striking the right balance. While the discipline's athletic aspects remain vital, it's equally crucial to recognize and address the emotional and psychological dimensions inherent in every student-coach relationship. As mentors in this unique world of movement and philosophy, continuous refinement of our communication skills is not just recommended—it's imperative. Only then can we truly nurture an atmosphere where both coach and student thrive, bound by trust and mutual growth.
Introducing: Trustworthy Promises In the dynamic and physically demanding discipline of parkour, the foundation of a thriving student-coach relationship is trust. This trust isn't superficial; it’s akin to the intense faith a trapeze artist places in their partner. When a parkour student prepares to take a literal leap, jumping from one obstacle to another or scaling a wall, they're not just relying on their own skills. They're leaning heavily into the trust they've cultivated with their coach.
Imagine a scenario where a student stands at the edge of a platform, ready to jump. Their heart races, and doubt might creep in. But in that crucial moment, the words of their coach play a pivotal role. A reassuring nod or an encouraging word can be the nudge they need. This is trust in action.
However, the relationship between a parkour student and their coach isn’t built overnight. It's not merely about the student believing that the coach is proficient in parkour techniques or has the necessary experience. It dives deeper, entering the realm of genuine human connections. The trust also manifests in the student's belief that their coach will stand by their words, be it guidance, advice, or even promises of rewards or consequences. It's about consistency between what is said and what is done.
This intricate dance of trust and reliability forms the essence of "Trustworthy Promises." It is a commitment, an unwavering bond, and a solemn vow that a coach makes to always align their words with their actions. In the exhilarating world of parkour, where risks are high, and every move matters, "Trustworthy Promises" becomes more than a communication tool; it is the lifeline that anchors the student-coach relationship in a sea of challenges.
Vague Promises vs. Trustworthy Promises (Expand)
Why it's important
At its core, "Trustworthy Promises" signifies a coach's unyielding commitment to their word. It’s not just about offering verbal assurances but ensuring that every commitment, whether it pertains to guidance, resources, or consequences, materializes. (Expand)
Which Scenarios to use this skill in
Application in Real Coaching Scenarios (Expand)
Which of the Four Common Misbehaviors this applies to most:
The Challenge Students carrying revenge motives feel perpetually cornered. These are individuals who believe they have been wronged and often feel that they need to "even the score." They may have experienced consistent marginalization, bullying, or feelings of targeting which triggers their retaliatory actions.
How Trustworthy Promises Help
Promises, when made sincerely and followed through on, provide a glimmer of hope for these students. For instance, if a student believes they are consistently targeted during a game, a coach might promise to monitor the next game closely to observe any unfair treatment. This promise not only shows the student that their concerns are valid and being taken seriously, but it also gives them hope for a safer environment. Most crucially, it meets their social needs of belonging and contributing to a group. But the promise must be trustworthy – broken promises can further solidify the belief in these students that they cannot trust authority figures. If they see tangible changes and feel supported, their need for revenge might diminish as they recognize there are alternative paths to justice.
The Challenge: Attention-seeking students often feel overshadowed and invisible. Their behaviors – whether it's interrupting, being overly dramatic, or even creating disruptions – are cries for acknowledgment and validation. Their primary need is not just attention but a validation of their presence and worth.
How Trustworthy Promises Help: Addressing this need can be achieved by making thoughtful promises. Consider a coach who says, "After practice, we'll spend an extra ten minutes working on that technique you asked about." This promise achieves two things: it sets a boundary by specifying a time for the extra attention, teaching the student that there's a time and place for everything, and it also shows the student they're valued, their interests are recognized, and that they don't need to resort to disruptive behaviors to be seen. The important thing is that such promises aren't used as bribes or too frequently, as this can lead to over-reliance. Rather, they should be genuine offers that show the student that they matter and that their coach or teacher is willing to invest in them.
Pitfalls to be wary of with this skill
Misaligned Expectations and Disillusionment At the heart of any coaching relationship is a mutual understanding between the coach and the student. This understanding is often built on the promises and expectations set by both parties.
However, when expectations are misaligned, even if a coach delivers on their promises, the student may still feel unsatisfied, leading to disillusionment.
Defining Disillusionment: Disillusionment arises when reality falls short of one's expectations. It's the feeling of disappointment when one realizes that a previously held belief or ideal isn't true or doesn't materialize as imagined. In the coaching context, a student might begin their journey with certain hopes or visions of progress. If the coaching experience doesn't align with these anticipations, even if the coach delivers on explicit promises, the student can become disillusioned.
The Nuance of Communication: It's important to note that communication isn't just about what's said but also about what's understood. A coach might promise, for example, to "improve a student's skills." However, the student might interpret this to mean they'll be mastering a complex move in a month, whereas the coach might have meant foundational skills would be strengthened. Both parties are technically true to their word, but the student feels let down because of the misalignment in understanding.
Implicit Versus Explicit Expectations: Explicit promises are those clearly articulated and agreed upon. Implicit expectations, on the other hand, are those that are assumed or believed without being openly communicated. Often, disillusionment arises from these implicit, unspoken expectations. For instance, a student might implicitly expect personalized feedback after every session, but if the coach doesn't provide it—because they never promised it—the student might feel neglected.
Emotional Repercussions: When disillusionment sets in, it can have emotional repercussions that extend beyond the immediate coaching relationship. A student might begin to doubt their own capabilities or lose passion for the activity. They might also become wary of seeking guidance in the future, fearing further disappointments.
Building Trust Through Clarity: To combat the risk of disillusionment, it's crucial to establish clarity from the outset. This means setting clear, explicit expectations, regularly checking in on these expectations, and adjusting them as necessary. Both the coach and student should feel comfortable communicating their needs, concerns, and hopes for the coaching relationship.
In essence, while a coach's genuine efforts and commitment to their promises are essential, it's equally crucial to ensure these promises and the student's expectations are in perfect harmony. When they aren't, even the most well-intentioned coaching can lead to disappointment and disillusionment.
Final Thoughts
In parkour coaching, "Trustworthy Promises" isn't just about making verbal commitments. It's about ensuring that every promise made to a student is consistently followed through with action. This reliability builds the trust that's essential in the sport. For coaches, upholding these promises is more than just good practice—it directly influences a student's confidence and progress.
Resources
Resources for Head Coaches Head Coach: The Unsung Hero The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication How to Handle Discipline in a Parkour Gym
Four Types of Common Misbehavior Undue Attention Power Revenge Assumed Inadequacy
Communication Skills for Coaches First Step Understanding Transparent Communication Clean Slate Listening Sincere Sharing Powerful Requests Trustworthy Promises Expressing Commitment Generous Invitations
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