Intention
This blog post will delve into the core reasons behind challenging behaviors in children, equipping parkour coaches with a deeper understanding and compassion. Learn how to build nurturing relationships, manage groups effectively, and create an empowering environment for young trainees. Enhance your coaching techniques and ensure every session is a positive experience for both you and your students.
The Challenge: Undue Attention and its impact
Every coach, at one point or another, encounters a child who seeks an excessive amount of attention. While attention is a basic human need, the persistence and intensity of this attention-seeking in some children can disrupt the flow of a parkour class, leading to feelings of annoyance, irritation, worry, and even guilt among coaches. It becomes particularly challenging when this behavior throws off the balance of the class, consuming more of the coach's time and energy.
Why Coaches React the Way They Do
Given the immediate need to maintain order and ensure the safety and productivity of the class, many coaches resort to:
Constant Reminders: Repeatedly telling the child to adjust their behavior.
Coaxing into Compliance: Persuading the child to participate appropriately, often with promises or incentives.
Over-assisting: Taking over tasks the child is fully capable of doing on their own, just to keep things moving.
Though these reactions are natural and come from a place of genuine concern and intent to keep the class running smoothly, they can inadvertently strengthen the very behavior coaches hope to diminish.
The Vicious Cycle
The issue isn't just about the immediate reaction. When children receive the attention they crave, even if it's in the form of reminders or coaxing, it validates their behavior. They learn that these disruptive actions yield the attention they seek. And while there might be a temporary pause in the attention-seeking behavior post the coach's intervention, it's usually just a matter of time before the child reverts to old patterns.
In essence, without addressing the underlying needs and reasons for the child's behavior, coaches can find themselves in a vicious cycle: child misbehaves → coach reacts → child gets attention → child temporarily stops → child misbehaves again.
What's Driving the Behavior?
To address the challenge of undue attention, it's essential first to understand the beliefs fueling the behavior. Often, children who consistently seek excessive attention harbor certain underlying beliefs:
Desire for Validation: "I count (belong) only when I'm being noticed or getting special service."
Worth Tied to Occupying Attention: "I'm only important when I'm keeping you busy with me."
These convictions stem from a genuine need for belonging and validation. When children feel that their worth is determined by the amount of attention they receive, they are compelled to act out in ways to ensure they are continually noticed.
As parkour coaches, understanding these core beliefs can help tailor responses that address the child's genuine needs without reinforcing disruptive behavior. Here are strategies designed to do just that:
Empathetic Responses: Coaching Strategies that Address the Root Cause: (Expand)
Resources
Resources for Head Coaches Head Coach: The Unsung Hero The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication How to Handle Discipline in a Parkour Gym
Four Types of Common Misbehavior Undue Attention Power Revenge Assumed Inadequacy
Communication Skills for Coaches First Step Understanding Transparent Communication Clean Slate Listening Sincere Sharing Powerful Requests Trustworthy Promises Expressing Commitment Generous Invitations
Disclaimer & Attribution:
The content within this resource is inspired by Rudolf Dreikurs’ 1960s model on misbehaving children. The application, examples, and perspective shared are also informed by two decades of personal experience as a Parkour Instructor. While Dreikurs' foundational principles guide the understanding, the interpretations, applications, and nuances presented here are unique to the lens of parkour coaching.
This work, supplemented with personal insights and experiences, is shared under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. This means you are free to use, share, and adapt this content, but must provide appropriate attribution, not use it for commercial purposes, and share any derivative works under the same or similar license.
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