Intention
This blog post will delve into the core reasons behind challenging behaviors in children, equipping parkour coaches with a deeper understanding and compassion. Learn how to build nurturing relationships, manage groups effectively, and create an empowering environment for young trainees. Enhance your coaching techniques and ensure every session is a positive experience for both you and your students.
The Challenge: Power Struggles and Their Impact
Every coach, regardless of discipline or experience, faces moments when a child's behavior seems solely driven by the need for power. This power-driven misbehavior manifests as defiance, resistance to authority, and even challenges to the coach's control. Such episodes can invoke feelings of being provoked, threatened, or challenged. Worse, they might evoke feelings of defeat or inadequacy in the coach. The balance of the class is thrown into chaos, and the coach's authority is put to the test.
Why Coaches React the Way They Do
In the heat of the moment, when order and structure are at stake, coaches might:
Engage in a Power Struggle: Becoming locked in a tug-of-war with the child, both vying for control.
Give In to the Child's Demands: Conceding as a means to quickly restore class peace.
Assertively Reassert Authority: Taking a firm stand, sometimes excessively, to emphasize their role.
However, these reactions, despite being instinctive, can amplify the child's need for dominance and control. They feed into the child's belief that power equates to belonging and significance.
The Vicious Cycle
It's not merely about the coach's immediate response. When children, in their pursuit of dominance, perceive that their behaviors lead them to their desired outcome - be it attention, concessions, or sparking reactions - they're emboldened. They learn that their challenges to authority pay off. While there might be a brief period of seeming compliance after the coach intervenes, it’s often a transient calm before the storm.
Simply put, the cycle often goes like this: child challenges authority → coach reacts → child senses dominance → child briefly complies → child challenges again.
What's Driving the Behavior?
Understanding the behavior means recognizing the beliefs that fuel it:
Desire for Control: "I only belong when I'm in control or proving no one can boss me."
Seeking Significance through Dominance: "I am important when I'm demonstrating control over you or others."
These deeply rooted convictions link the child's self-worth and significance to their ability to maintain or assert control, challenging as this may be for a coach to navigate.
As parkour coaches, understanding these core beliefs can help tailor responses that address the child's genuine needs without reinforcing disruptive behavior. Here are strategies designed to do just that:
Empathetic Responses: Coaching Strategies that Address the Root Cause: (Expand)
Resources
Resources for Head Coaches Head Coach: The Unsung Hero The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication How to Handle Discipline in a Parkour Gym
Four Types of Common Misbehavior Undue Attention Power Revenge Assumed Inadequacy
Communication Skills for Coaches First Step Understanding Transparent Communication Clean Slate Listening Sincere Sharing Powerful Requests Trustworthy Promises Expressing Commitment Generous Invitations
Disclaimer & Attribution:
The content within this resource is inspired by Rudolf Dreikurs’ 1960s model on misbehaving children. The application, examples, and perspective shared are also informed by two decades of personal experience as a Parkour Instructor. While Dreikurs' foundational principles guide the understanding, the interpretations, applications, and nuances presented here are unique to the lens of parkour coaching.
This work, supplemented with personal insights and experiences, is shared under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. This means you are free to use, share, and adapt this content, but must provide appropriate attribution, not use it for commercial purposes, and share any derivative works under the same or similar license.
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